Sea swell hid us from each other
kicking hard to stay afloat
tiring ourselves in efforts
to reach light, air
we called for each other's attention
hands, wrists, elbows waving
voices lost in the gathering wind


I look you up
see where and what you are
so I keep a safe distance
In honest moments admit
I look for your obituary
the long wait to end
I wonder what I'll do that day
as I read your death on the page
shoulders shaking
sharp intake of breath
the years-long exhale
as I let the weight of my shame go