You died a fistful of hours ago and half a world away a gentle leave-taking in your sleep surprising even yourself And what is there to say now in the newness of this world without you but thank you? All the complexity dissolves and it is simply your kindness I carry
Change
Change alone is unchanging. ~Heraclitus Change, my dearest companion alone in her constancy is in my waking, sleeping unchanging in her devotion
The Great Ordinary
What is the end of this story and all stories but the great ordinary? The lying down and waking up the washing of every dish Your sigh my stutter as our stiff fingers fumble to find each other
Two Birds
On my table: two golden birds in a small glass cage always turned gently to the other Curious but fixed and held there by their maker And I wonder what it does to me to see those creatures so Would it be better for me to smash it all open and let them fly?
Morphine, Mania
How much of my little life was made by their morphine, mania? The way I choose my words so carefully, expect too little, do too much This was all laid out for me long before my birth I may just be the logical conclusion of all their twisted dreams.
Four Things
You are kind when you say my accent is good. I deflect and assure you I can say only four things: I speak Chinese like a small child I'm sorry Please forgive me I love you
Plot
Today I am all tops without tails, titles without poems: Rain Check Bathtub Gin Morphine, Mania Middle School I will all of these bright seeds to bloom into verse. Sunday, I sat laughing with you and told you my novel went nowhere. I was all character. But I thrilled when you said: you can count on me for plot.
Old Friend (for Jace)
You make me smile so hard. "I know! I know!" We commiserate that our arms grew so long we finally wear glasses and we have given up understanding teenagers. But when we talk together we are at once here in the middle of life and back at the beginning where we started: twenty and in no hurry to crack open the books after dinner.
Of Course
You make a good point. Loving me is about more than the dishes you don't empty from the washer your way of clumping my wet clothes together on the line the bed unmade, morning and night the towel on the floor, open drawers. You are exactly right that these are all small matters like the meals you don't cook taxes filed late gifts unchosen, letters unsent. Of course, of course of course these things are not precious. But I am.
Ass Man
You told me you're an ass man and I thought Great! I have that in ample supply. Now I understand you better than you know you really are an ass, man.
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