I wish I could sit with you there gray day, long oak table the kind of music we used to like or I liked and you liked me so you listened I would seem out of place in my Smiths shirt and pegged jeans but no matter I'd look you in the face the way I should have done Say things long overdue: you mattered I loved you more than you knew
Tag: relationships
Repetition Compulsion
Freud said we recreate the unresolved so there's no surprise you're back at it But here's a bright spot: something in me is free of my old story and I don't have to play
Survivor Guilt
I am grateful I'm not the one you're talking over defending the hurtful oblivious thing you said I am relieved I'm not the one waiting for your call, your text your definition of the relationship But I rest uneasy I'm not the one batting back tears wondering how much life I've wasted wanting you
Last Supper
The final plate rinsed and neatly stacked from this last supper together For years I planned prepared, served You ate I washed, dried put away You read Thank you for another beautiful feast, you said You raised a toast but not a finger
You
I love the way you walk right across the room and introduce yourself to me You are a man on a mission I, your aim Every day you beam that bright smile at me and for a dozen breaths here we are, two We see each other and say: Oh, it's you Yes, it's you.
Notes
I could use a break from this relationship we're not having It's not you; it's me See, I just need a little rest from the wide expanses of time between our meetings and the ways your foot is careful not to touch mine under the table Oh, and the love notes all those love notes you haven't been writing Sometimes people just grow together it can't be helped
Two Weeks
What would you do if you knew the great love of your life was coming? Not in the theoretical the imagined but coming like a real date on the calendar the tickets you booked the final exam What if you knew with such certainty that you put your house in order changed the sheets stocked the pantry set out those little soaps? If you knew this great love was coming what would you do?
Paper
On paper we make every sense But paper has neither pulse nor breath It will not fog a mirror or lift a life Please put a match to me Let's burn our little world down
May I?
When I am spun up and around all elbows and missteps stammering sighing heavily into myself Absolute heaven is your arm outstretched and drawing my cheek to your chest May I? you whisper And I yield Yes.
For Bill
You died a fistful of hours ago and half a world away a gentle leave-taking in your sleep surprising even yourself And what is there to say now in the newness of this world without you but thank you? All the complexity dissolves and it is simply your kindness I carry
This Verse 